It’s time to debunk one of the biggest myths of modern life: we should all be striving for work-life balance.
You might be curious as to how I could pooh-pooh such a sensationalised idea. Yes, work-life balance is a concept that’s been held up high, glittering as the ultimate key to happiness. It promises a neat, tidy split between work and life.
But let me ask you something—when was the last time life felt genuinely balanced? If you’re anything like me—or indeed like anyone living in the whirlwind that is the 21st century—it probably hasn’t felt balanced at all. But here’s the kicker: that’s not due to your failure. It’s because balance is a myth.
Let’s unpack why this idea of balance isn’t as effective as it seems, explore why chasing it leaves us weary and frustrated and—most importantly—discuss what we can do instead.
Embracing Chaos and Finding Integration
To break this myth, let me share a story from a chaotic week in my life back when I was building my business. Picture this: a major client presentation needed my full attention while my youngest was home sick, and my teenager needed help studying for a crucial exam. It was an absolute whirlwind—from early morning emails to doctor visits to late-night algebra. Needless to say, by the week’s end, I was thoroughly spent, riddled with guilt and self-doubt. Why couldn’t I handle it better?
That crucial moment of exhaustion taught me something: life wasn’t failing, balance was failing me. The idea of balance assumes life is orderly and predictable when, in fact, it’s anything but. It’s messy and unexpected, and we all know that, right? One moment, everything is fine, and the next, you’re dealing with an urgent crisis that throws any semblance of balance out the window.
Despite this, we still chase balance, wearing our busyness like a badge of honour. But let’s be real: ‘being busy’ is just an excuse that deflects responsibility from our own choices, surrendering our time to others. It’s certainly no path to equilibrium; in reality, it’s a short hop to burnout. So, what’s the answer? For me, it was all about integration—aligning work and life not as opposing forces but as interconnected elements that can complement each other.
Integration: A New Approach to Harmony
Integration is about finding harmony, not perfection. This shift meant embracing life as a blend of overlapping responsibilities rather than compartmentalised boxes. One step I personally took towards integration was answering emails during my son’s rugby practice, utilising time effectively so I could be present with him afterward. I wasn’t ignoring him; I was ensuring I had the time and bandwidth to properly engage with him at the right moment. Integration doesn’t mean multitasking all the time; it’s about finding harmony in the overlap.
It also means embracing life’s seasons—understanding that different times call for different focuses. For example, some seasons might demand more work, like when a book manuscript is due, while other times might focus more on home, health, or rest. Successful individuals don’t strive for constant balance; they adapt with intention to life’s rhythms.
Shifting Mindsets: Glass and Plastic Balls
A transformative concept for me was understanding Dr. Michael Perry’s metaphor about ‘glass and plastic balls’. In life, recognising which commitments are glass, or truly critical, versus plastic, or less consequential, can be a game changer. Some tasks bounce back, while others shatter if dropped. Important commitments deserve our full attention, like being fully present with loved ones in crucial moments, something Dr. Perry learned the hard way.
Practical Steps Toward Living Intentionally
So, how do we intentionally adopt integration? Here’s my roadmap:
- Identify Your “Glass Balls” – Determine what genuinely matters to you in this moment and focus your energy accordingly.
- Honour the Season – Adapt your focus based on what you truly need right now.
- Learn to Say No – Every “yes” comes with a cost, be it time, energy, or even finances. Be selective and mindful of your commitments.
- Be Present – Whether at work or home, give your full attention to those you are with.
- Schedule Micro Resets – Incorporate small, intentional breaks into your day, fostering a cumulative sense of revitalisation.
I implore you to be kind to yourself. Remember, life isn’t about perfectly balancing every facet. It’s about aligning your work and life with intention, cherishing what matters and honouring your unique rhythm.
So go ahead and take a moment today to embrace intentional living—design it in a way that aligns with who you are and what matters to you.
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