Do you have those friends that never seem to have any ideas of their own, but always say yes to yours?
What about co-workers that drag you down or make you doubt your abilities?
Maybe you have people around you that always see the negative in every situation, darkening your days instead of brightening them.
And what about those calls you send to voicemail rather than answering because ‘you just can’t cope with that conversation right now’?
I once had a boss who was a great connection, on paper — female, successful, results oriented, a great supporter of me and my work. Over time, however, as my success and network of influence grew, her behaviour changed. Once productive meetings became discussions of negative details; my big ideas, which had once been embraced enthusiastically, were shut down; my personal ambitions were devalued and marginalised. I was clearly and continuously put back in my box. A woman who had once inspired me now began to limit me.
It might seem unlikely that you would associate with someone who doesn’t support you or your work, but often their negative impact won’t be immediately evident. Many of us stay stuck in the comfort zone of connecting with the same people all the time, or staying connected with people just because we’ve known them ‘forever’. Many of us tolerate personal and professional connections who drain us of energy, inspiration and momentum.
Multi-millionaire businessman and philanthropist Tony Robbins said, ‘Who you spend time with is who you become. Change your life by consciously choosing to surround yourself with people with higher standards!’
Knowing who to cut from your network is as important as knowing who to keep.
Think about your network, personally and professionally and consider if anyone;
- drags you down
- makes you doubt your abilities
- never seems to have ideas of their own, but always say yes to yours
- always sees the negative in every situation
- puts you on the defensive
- makes you hesitate about your decisions and what you want to do
- talks about themselves all the time and show little interest in you
- takes your ideas and comments for their own?
Now I’m not recommending you tell whoever it is ‘You’re fired!’ from your network. This is more about figuring out who is not supporting you or your journey and then choosing how much time, if any, you give them. With knowledge you can put up boundaries, manage your time and manage their impact on your energy.
As Deepak Chopra puts it, ‘Negative people deplete your energy. Surround yourself with love and nourishment and do not allow the creation of negativity in your environment.’
So take control. Identify those that are undermining you, dampening your dreams or feeding your insecurities and in their place actively choose to surround yourself with people that want to see you succeed and achieve all you are capable of … and more.
