December 8

The barriers to your brilliance – How to stop exhaustion and blame getting in the way of your success



Over the last few weeks, on endless repeat, my clients have been saying, “I’m so tired”, “This feeling of exhaustion is real”, “I’m so over this year”, “I can’t even begin to plan next year because my brain is so fried”. 

I’ll be honest – I’ve had to dig deep these last few weeks and said “I’m so tired” a few times myself. It really has been one crazy year.  

How about you?  Are you exhausted?  Tired?  Over it too?

If we’re not careful, we are all at risk of becoming the robots of life versus the humans of extraordinary evolution, where potential is unleashed and brilliance shines.

Because we let Fatigue and/or Blame get in the way of our momentum. 

It doesn’t matter how clear our ultimate vision is, how detailed the plans we’ve nutted out are or how committed our ‘To Do’ list is, Fatigue and Blame fuel Stress. This combination keeps us well and truly stuck in the now, extinguishing any opportunity to achieve our brilliance.

The three levels of Fatigue that I see creeping up on my clients are:

  1. Exhaustion Fatigue—we’re exhausted with being exhausted. We feel exhausted every day with all that we have to do and by the thought of the future and what we think we ‘should’ be doing. There’s too much to do and not enough time.
  1. Stretch Fatigue— so many of us are operating like a real-life version of ‘Elastagirl’ from the Pixar movie, The Incredibles. We’re pulled and pushed, stretched and re-stretched in multiple directions by multiple groups of multiple people all demanding work and a whole stack of other stuff that needs to be done ASAP. Everyone and everything wants you and wants you now.
  1. Choice Fatigue—we struggle with what to do next, tomorrow, the day after; first, second, at the same time, or all right now! The more choices we’re faced with, the more exhausted we become as we weigh up all the options in an attempt to make the right decision. And even when we make the choice, we doubt our decision and swing between self-doubt and denial.

Sound familiar?

Now let’s throw in The Blame Triangle. There are three ways of becoming affected by Blame;

  1. The Detractor – blames something else for their lack of achievement; everything from the economy, government, market, competition, COVID, becomes the excuse for not making progress.
  1. The Deflector blames someone else for their lack of achievement; it’s their boss’s fault, friend’s fault, Penny in accounts or Bob in marketing’s fault for why they can’t get things achieved.
  1. The Defeatist – blames themselves for their lack of achievement; “I’m not good enough, smart enough, clever enough, skilled enough” become the constant inner dialogue for a lack of momentum up the personal ‘getting stuff done’ achievement ladder.

Whether you are suffering from Fatigue or Blame the results are the same – ineffectiveness, status quo, and inaction. Your momentum to brilliance faces one massive STOP sign where you stay stuck.

So how do you cure a case of Fatigue and Blame?  We have to:



Reset Boundaries

Sucking it up will result in you fxxking it up. Plain and simple! 

Burnout is real.  Emotional and physical exhaustion is real.  Brain fog is real.  And the warning signs are there, but it’s too easy not to notice them.  We keep going to work, totting up those hours, pumping our bodies in the gym, and wonder why we finally crash. 

How can you be good to anyone else if you’re not being good to yourself?

Hold yourself accountable, assess what you have to do differently moving forward, take note of what you have learnt, and reset those boundaries.  It’s your responsibility no-one else’s!

Take Ownership

Of course, we all have different baggage, backgrounds, financial situations, and stuff going on. But if you want it enough, if you are hungry enough, and if you take control of owning your role in writing your story, creating your own dreams, then action does happen.

Quit the blame and instead own your successes and your failures. Own your dreams, your goals, and your behaviours. Own the actions you take. Own the tribe you choose to work with, the projects you choose to navigate and deliver, the essential contacts that will absolutely transform you and accelerate your journey to success.

Unless we let go of the blame game and finger-pointing, accept what happened, and embrace the learnings from the situation, we are unable to move forward. The choice is yours – sit in Blame Triangle and the resulting sludge of status quo or accept that things aren’t quite going to plan, re-group, re-plan, take ownership for your next choice and move on.

So if you are guilty of saying “I’m so tired right now” ask yourself – do you want to stay stuck in 2020?

If you want more in 2021 it’s up to you to kick Fatigue and Blame well and truly in the butt.

Out with ineffectiveness, inaction, and status quo; in with ownership, accountability, and growth.

And in with your brilliance in all its glory.

Until next week.






“The number of hours in a day is fixed, but the quantity and quality of energy available to us is not”

– Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr 




Barriers, be brilliant, Blame, Busy, Exhaustion, Fatigue, Stuck, Tired

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