Embrace Your Extraordinary Self with Deidre Dattoli

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Janine: How could things be different in your life, career, or business? If you embraced your extraordinary. This is a conversation that I had with Deirdre Dutulli, who shares her shift from From being that corporate exec to the moment when she realized that she already was [00:01:00] extraordinary. She talks about the balance and the intersection between wellness and having the energy to show up, aliveness and feeling fulfilled and lit up and legacy, the impact that you want to make.

Get curious during this conversation about where maybe fear might be keeping you. Small. And actually, if you were to embrace the fact that you already are extraordinary, I wonder what possibilities could be created for you. Hello, Deidre, so awesome to grab you and get some time to have you on this podcast. Thank you for sharing some time today with us. Wonderful to have you here.

Deidre: Thank you. Thank you so much, Janine. Very excited, to have this opportunity to chat with you.

Janine: Yeah, and you know, what we're going to be talking about, [00:02:00] knowing your work is something that I think so many, women who are either working in organizations or women running their own business or women in general need to actually start getting a little bit curious about, let's go straight into it.

You talk a lot, So in fact, your passion work is working with people to embrace. They're extraordinary. It's, it's, it's everything that you live and breathe. I'm curious, can you share with our audience? What does embrace your extraordinary actually mean for you.

Why does it matter? Why is it so important that we all start embracing our extraordinary?

Deidre: Beautiful question. Embracing your extraordinary. It's all about embracing our extraordinary self. It's about. Embracing all of those different parts of us, and we talk about it as being able to embrace our true nature. And once we're able to embrace that true [00:03:00] nature, we're able to then open up and unlock potential and possibility.

And all of that is extraordinary. And it's about embracing. every single part of our extraordinary selves. when we actually broke it down and we thought about, well, what does embrace your extraordinary mean embrace really means to lovingly hug and hold. And that's what extraordinary embracing your extraordinary is all about.

It's kind of what kind of translates into loving you. And really I love to think about it as helping people remember how extraordinary they truly are. I think that it's really important because we have so many different parts to us as extraordinary beings. And what I find is that people do life embracing only certain parts.[00:04:00]

And therefore it makes it challenging and it makes it hard to be able to achieve our dreams a sense or achieve the goals and what it is that we want to achieve in life.

Janine: Ah, I'm so looking forward to this conversation. Before we get into some of the specifics, you mentioned there that what you're noticing is individuals embracing just a part of who they are. Can you just tell me a little bit more around, you know, what you are noticing right now and therefore why?

Things need to be different. Why we all need to start thinking a little bit differently about who we are and who it is that we want to become and this embracing are extraordinary.

Deidre: I think, you know, life has become since COVID, it's become really stressful and it's become really busy. We're all trying to [00:05:00] achieve so much, but we're achieving it in the doing, doing, doing. And what we actually forget is that we're, we're whole human beings. So we look at it that we have like a physical body, so it's the, the body that we can see, but we also have.

What we actually can't see as well with our physical body. And then we have what we talk about as our heart set and also our mindset. And what I find a lot of people are trying to achieve through just the doing. So it might be that they set a goal and They try to achieve that through more doing through a clear strategy.

But what we forget is that underneath that we've got our emotional being and we've also got our mindset, as well. And I know a lot of people work with, mindset as well. But [00:06:00] what we need to look at here is, um, Going even deeper than just mindset and really get clear on the, I suppose the heart set as well, and also that deep socially, emotionally conditioning or program programming that we've all accumulated over our, our lifetime.

And sometimes it's not about pushing harder and doing that hustle, but sometimes it's actually about slowing down and really getting curious. about how we're being or who we're being in this world.

Janine: Now, Deirdre, you, obviously this is your business now, and this is what you do. You, you run retreats and you, you support people one on one. You also run work in organizations, but that wasn't always you. So I'm really curious. what was the moment? where this landed for you as a former executive, as a business owner, [00:07:00] where you realized that there was something more that we needed to understand and we needed to start getting curious about to enable us to achieve our goals And our dreams. What was the moment for you?

Deidre: it was, a moment and I'll, I'll never, never forget it because all of my career, I've always absolutely loved what I've done and going to work has always been such a joy. And I was in my, um, my corporate career and it was a fantastic Friday afternoon, and we had had a little bit of a disagreement in our management team, particularly just myself and one of the others.

And I came home that night and I was really upset from it. And my son at the time was probably about two or three and he just looked at me and went, Oh, mommy, why are you so upset? Please don't be upset because I'm sad when you're sad. And it was that moment that I realized that. This is just not working that I was just pushing so hard to get [00:08:00] my success and I'd got to that point and something was still missing.

So that was kind of when I decided that I needed to search. for more and really understand, well, actually, what is missing here? I've got a great career. I've got a family, but yet I feel so disconnected from who I truly am, like that true nature of myself. And then that's when I started on that, journey of, of meditation, and really started to tap in to understanding more about the inner me, and doing that.

inner work and realizing that actually by hustling and pushing is not the way to achieve. and then that's when I started to do some, some mindset work as well, but I still realized that something was missing. then I started to look at a lot more of our [00:09:00] conditioning and our programming and started to do a lot more of the, you know, clearing of the masculine and the feminine.

And then started to delve into even Dr. Joe Dispenza's work. And then that's when I started to realize that there's more to us as being a human being than actually what presents itself. so that's kind of where it all started. The curiosity for this, and then, you know, fast forward after leaving corporate a number of years, and I still felt like I was hustling and things were missing.

And I feel like now that I've been able to, unlock that, piece of the puzzle, that was missing. So it was, you know, really being able to. unlock my energy, which was that life force energy, you know, unlock life, which was feeling more, you know, lit up and more alive and more fulfilled to really start to unlock effect, which [00:10:00] is, I suppose it's looking at having that influence on myself and others and humanity as well.

Janine: um. Yeah.

I love that. And you talk a lot about, you know, three key pieces that we need to get curious about. I think, I read it's about that wellness piece. It's that aliveness piece and it's that legacy piece. and all three of those being such a critical part of us achieving our success.

Whether it be success in business, success in career, success as, a human doing whatever it is or being whoever it is that we want to be, I'm curious, I'd love to just delve a little bit more into each of those three, if that's okay. Cause I think so many of, my community, so many of the clients that I work with, and we've worked together quite a lot over the years on this stuff as well, as you've been unpacking this, is they can have all the best ideas in the world of what they want their business to become.

what they should do. You, you know, like you said, it's the [00:11:00] hustle, the hustle, and they can get busy being busy. But, you know, I often talk about, there's other pillars that are important to, determine that level of success or to help you sustain that success over time. And. You know, as you're alluding to, that's not the stuff we're necessarily taught, cause we're just taught to do and to keep working harder and to keep hustling. So as I said, you talk about wellness, aliveness, and legacy. let's take them one at a time. So wellness, what does that mean for you? what is wellness about? If you were able to share with our audience, from your perspective, What we need to start getting curious about in this space to allow us to, get more closer to our extraordinary selves.

what does that mean in terms of wellness for you?

Deidre: So the wellness piece is around that, unlocking that, that energy because without our health, like it's such a vital currency, you know, we're, we're not able to achieve what it is that we want to achieve [00:12:00] without that. So we look at the wellness pieces. It's that life force energy that we need to be able to, you know, enrich our health, our vibrancy, our vitality, our joy in life.

And when we dig deeper into that, wellness pace, it's looking at us as a whole human being. or a whole person. We're looking at how it all works in unity. So how a physical body, our mindset and our heart set all works, work in unison to be able to give us that, energy set, which is that wellness.

So really being able to unlock that energy pace.

Janine: Yeah, I love that. And what you've, touched on there is it's more than just eating healthfully. It's that combination of those three things, that enable us to unlock that in a innate energy, which is possible for all of us to sit in that space of wellness. So how does, that differ from Aliveness The aliveness piece that you talk [00:13:00] about, tell me more about that.

Deidre: Aliveness to me is that unlocking that, that life. So it's that piece where we're feeling kind of, you know, lit up where we're feeling fulfilled. we're able to, you know, create our dreams into reality and really live that more nourishing, extraordinary life. So it's more of that real, comes from within, that just radiates, that really gives us that sense of feeling alive.

Janine: and

I imagine that's really infectious,

right?

For

other people.

Deidre: yes, because we're all energy and people get a sense of your energy when you, when you walk into a room and that's where, you know, having a background in hairdressing and beauty, it's having that inner glow.

that inner beauty, because again, you know, like you said, we can, it's more than just what we eat because we can eat all the right things. We can. Go to the gym. We can [00:14:00] do that. But then if we're berating ourselves and we're, we're speaking, in a, not a kind way to ourselves and we're pushing ourselves it, we're not able to have that aliveness and that life force energy.

Janine: I see that presented itself often amongst clients as like a misalignment. So they're sort of saying one thing and trying to sell one thing or be one thing for their clients. But The reality is, is that the, how they are showing up is slightly different and it's that whole alignment of, as you say, the wellness piece and the three elements and the aliveness piece is so key.

so how does legacy then become yet another part of this?

Deidre: And I think it's a critical time, now as well, because is just my opinion, but I think the world's changing. Consciousness is, changing and we want to be able to unlock effect for, for people. [00:15:00] And when we can support people to unlock the energy and they feel more, you know, lit up, they're more passionate, then what they're going to have is more effect.

In everything that they do more effect for the self, or you could look at it as more influence, on their outcomes on humanity on life. And that's where we can then have a beautiful ripple effect out in the world. And I think people are starting to, yeah, want Something that's a little bit different now,

Janine: Well, I think it's also, you know, at the end of the day, people buy from people or, you know, we choose who we hang out with. And what you're, you're talking about here is it, it's not always what you're saying or what you think it's who you're being. It's how you're turning up. It's, it's that impression that you're making on a, fellow human being in that moment.

And, and from your perspective, why is this so important for us as [00:16:00] business owners or as people in organizations to connect these three elements of wellness, aliveness, and legacy?

Deidre: because we can do life in such an easy way. It can be, you know, with ease and grace. And instead of doing that, you know, that hustle of life. And that's exactly what it's been for, for me. And we don't get taught this. Stuff in school. Oh my God. wish I had of known half the stuff that I have in school.

And I even know for my children, I've got two, children that both want to become high performance athletes. So teaching this stuff, then this stuff that they're actually a whole human being has really supported them to be able to follow their dreams. Because they're able to create that alignment, not just from the technical aspect, but also from their mindset and their emotions and their energy as [00:17:00] well.

So personally, I just think that there's a better way of being. In this world. So this is part of the, I suppose, the driver for me too, was that I wanted to be that example for my kids. You know, I wanted to show them that they can follow their dreams and. There is a way you know, that they can be in the world.

That's not hustle and it's not burnout and it's not at all costs. Like, you know, they can achieve their dreams, but it's not at all costs. It's still at being who they're, they're meant to be and really embracing that true essence of who they are. So I think. that's part of it. And I think so many people have, and I'm speaking from experience as well, have done what they think should be doing based on their socially and emotionally conditioning, instead of really connecting to what we call our true nature [00:18:00] and following that to live life in a way that's contributing to the consciousness of humanity in a positive way.

Janine: I'd love to ask, because you said that the stuff that I wish I'd learned at school and at the same time you shared the stuff that you're learning, that you're teaching your kids and we've connected on this before because we've also got a child that wants to be a high performance athlete and not just the technical skill that gets them there.

I'm really curious if you could go back in time and give yourself some of the advice that you've given your kids, what sort of things would you tell yourself that Now that you know, you, you know, the people listening here might be able to do something with what's, what sort of gimme some examples.

Deidre: Oh, one of them would definitely be to be mindful of, my thoughts and what comes out of my mouth, that I actually just need to be my bestest friend and really love, nurture and support [00:19:00] myself, and not beat myself up when I make a mistake and making a mistake is all part of, growing because if I don't make mistakes, then that means that I'm staying in my comfort zone and I'm not actually, growing.

So that's definitely a part of it. And the other part that, I kind of help them to work with is just being really clear about the outcome you want to achieve. And just taking the time to center yourself. being in the present moment, you know, whether it's doing some heart breaths or some, you know, some form of breath work, because when you're focusing on your breath, the only place that you can be is in the, in the present moment.

And then just fast forward to the end of that game, all that. situation, whatever it is, if it's a, if it's a tennis match or a football match, or even if it's like me speaking on this, this podcast, [00:20:00] just think about, well, how do I want to feel at the end of that and really start to focus on that possibility and those feelings and those words, instead of getting caught up in the anxiety of, Oh, am I going to do this right?

Am I going to make a mistake? I'm no good at this, you know, all of The negative self talk that happens, and it's just such a simple practice, but it's so powerful, and I really wish that I hadn't learnt that, a long time ago. the other thing is just the power of slowing down to go faster.

I know we talk about it a lot, but you know, just that ability, like I said previously, just to center myself, you know, to take those moments throughout the day to breathe and center myself, because then we're able to be in that present moment. And that's where we can create our future. The only place we can create our dreams from is in the current.

moment [00:21:00] or the present reality of the present situation.

Janine: I love the conversation there around focus on how you're going to feel. I read something recently that talked about goal setting, not from the. Perspective of the stuff, the thing, the money you're going to earn, the clients you're going to work with. But that perspective of how do you want to feel? When you've achieved that, and you're right, we're not taught that stuff because it's all so, metric driven, like get your A's, your B's, your C's, your A tars, whatever it is.

And Yeah,

it's how you feel, which I love that. So thank you for saying that. now, before we go, I do want to ask you, cause you've run a retreat recently. where you've invited, a great group of people to do this work around, really connecting with all these strategies around improving their wellness, their aliveness and their legacy.

And I know one of the things that you did on this retreat was hot and cold therapy. And you were [00:22:00] sharing with me before we started call. Recording the incredible change or impact it had on those clients that were at the retreat. Can you, share a little bit more about that in terms of what did you notice happen through that exercise?

And, and I guess how it can then relate to people listening and what they can take, with them, into their work.

Deidre: So, there's so many benefits from a, from a wellness perspective in terms of, recovering the body, in terms of, just our nervous system, inflammation, there's so much, but what we looked at it and Jodi, who's my business partner, she actually is the expert on the wellness side when it comes to hot and cold therapy.

But what I noticed was the, impact in terms of the confidence. We had a couple of the, um, attendees that [00:23:00] were quite anxious about it in the beginning. And we go through a whole, a whole process of getting them ready to be able to do the, the hot and cold. And, you know, What happened was at the end and we did exactly the same thing that I just spoke about is getting them to think about, like, just imagine you've got a remote and you're able to fast forward to the end of doing this, you know, how was it that you would like to feel?

And, you know, there were words like, you know, excited and achievement and, just, well, I've, you know, I've done this and confidence. It was amazing just to see them be able to push through that, fear, but in a, a lovingly environment and having the cheer squad of, the other, attendees there supporting them through that for them just to realize that, wow, I can actually do this.

I can actually achieve something that felt [00:24:00] like it was outside of my comfort zone. Because before we started, a couple of them were like, I don't think I can do this. I think I'm going to sit out and they were brave enough to actually give it a go. they were so proud of themselves. And that's what they said.

How many things in their life had they actually not done because of that fear that's kept them, playing small and they were able to take that real sense of accomplishment. and excitement with them after that to realize that once I've got the skill, because we don't want to push people into doing things that can be quite uncomfortable, especially looking at the way that it can impact the nervous system.

So we want to make sure that we do that in that controlled environment. So. helping them achieve that was, um, yeah, I think it was amazing that [00:25:00] once we understand it, it's amazing what we can actually achieve.

Janine: you know, what you've said there is so many, I think, are tapping into the fear and it is keeping them small, keeping them small in how they're living life, how they're building their businesses, how they're challenging themselves to step forward into their future. And yet, as you say, If people learn how to embrace their extraordinary, remarkable shifts and things can happen.

as we sort of wrap this up, what's, what's your final advice to anyone listening to this podcast who may be feeling that fear? You may be going, yeah, Yeah,

I get, I'm supposed to embrace my extraordinary, or as you say Janine, unleash my brilliance. But really, this is how I'm feeling.

What's your message to those people that might still be in that place of fear, to give them a little bit of encouragement to go for it?

Deidre: just to realize that we are just, we are all extraordinary. And just [00:26:00] to be here in this moment yeah, it's just extraordinary that if we think about there's so much going on in our body. That. is keeping us alive that we actually don't even think about.

And if we were just to pause and really connect in with that extraordinariness that each and every one of us has, and just start to reframe that. And I've, I do this all the time now. And I when I'm feeling a little bit uncertain or challenged, I'll go, okay, I know that I'm an extra, an extraordinary person because I'm here.

So if I want to embrace that extraordinary, what is it that I can do? And really just being able to, to reframe that and know that I'm extraordinary and being able to step into that and just asking, you know, just taking that moment and going, okay, how can I move forward?

[00:27:00] And just listening to see what insight, comes from that.

But just, yeah, that little reframe of knowing that we are, because we're here. Yeah.

Janine: Deirdre, that's such a beautiful way to end this conversation, giving everyone permission to realize, to own the fact that they already are because they're here. And so what's stopping them from becoming even more. Thank you. so much for sharing your smarts. I'll make sure I will include in the show notes, all your contact details, have an extraordinary day and I'm sure we will chat again.

Thank you so

much.

Deidre: you. Thank you so much, Janine, for the opportunity.