Stop Chasing Work-Life Balance. Do This Instead

Janine: work-life balance

But let me ask you this. When was the last time your life actually felt balanced? If you're anything like me, or let's be honest, anyone living in the 21st century, it probably hasn't, never has. And that's not because you're doing something wrong. It's because balance is a myth

today, we're going to talk about why balance doesn't work, why chasing it leaves us exhausted and frustrated, and most importantly, what you can do instead.

I knew it was going to lead to bigger things. It was the first time I was doing a particular project or a particular presentation, so it required a lot of design work. At the same time, my youngest child was home. He was sick with the flu and my teenager had an exam the next day and needed my help studying.

All I can remember is that day being an absolute blur of early morning emails, midday doctor visits, and late night algebra. And by Friday night, I was. Physically and emotionally spent. I remember collapsing on the couch, feeling exhausted and drowning in guilt. I, why couldn't I get it together? I remember thinking that why does, why does everyone else seem to manage this better than I do?

One moment, you're fine. fully focused on work. And then the next you're rushing to pick up your child who's unexpectedly fallen ill or had an accident at school or that carefully planned schedule is derailed by an urgent meeting, a last minute crisis, or just the relentless demands of daily life. And yet we continue to chase this idea of balance.

Instead, what I started doing was looking at my life as this beautiful mosaic, a blend of roles and responsibilities and passions that can coexist. For example, I started answering client emails during my son's rugby practice. While he was out there practicing, whatever the moves or the plays were for the weekend, I was sat in the car, often in the rain.

And that was when I would start answering my emails. I wasn't ignoring him. I was actually using the time I had in a way that worked for me. And because I wasn't stressed about my inbox, I could be more present with him after practice. I could engage with him after practice in terms of what he'd learned, what he discovered, what he wanted to work harder at.

Some seasons do demand more from work, like when you're chasing that big career milestone, or you might have a major project with tight deadlines. One classic one for me there was getting a book manuscript ready according to the publisher's deadlines. It required a lot of focus and a lot of work. But then again, there are other seasons that require more focus on home, on health, or even rest and recovery. Successful people don't strive for this constant balance.

So I could be fully present with my family. In fact, many of my clients now come to me because this is the very thing that they are trying to build a business and a life by design where they can take that time off their school holidays off to spend with their kids. And I remember that being one of my early goals.

Goals. But in the early days, it was impossible. You know, like many of you, I had bills to pay and I had goals that I needed to achieve to be able to get to that point of having goals to pay, to start making some profit. And so what I did is I built my business with the ultimate goal in mind and I worked toward it gradually.

And over time, as my business grew, I got closer to my vision and I remember moving to taking the entire school holidays off and going, Oh my gosh, I've got that, this is amazing. And it was that cadence of work, the on off the seasonality that enabled me to get there. This wasn't something that just magically happened.

Now, if taking big chunks of time off feels impossible right now, what about thinking about micro resets

not every break has to be a week long vacation. Could you, for example, take 10 minutes out of your day for a walk, some meditation during your lunch break, step outside, get some fresh air, maybe block an hour each week to read, to journal, to simply unplug these tiny micro moments.

Now, this brings me to one of my favorite learning based on the metaphor from Nora Roberts, this learning around glass and plastic balls. She said some balls in life are made of glass and others are made of plastic. And if you drop a plastic ball, it bounces. But if you drop a glass ball, it shatters. Now this idea, this concept was a game changer for me.

It's about knowing which balls are glass, the ones that truly mattered and therefore can't be dropped, and which ones are plastic, the ones that can bounce if they need to. A few years ago, I attended Harvard and while there, I met Dr. Michael Perry and I actually interviewed him on this podcast. You can find it a few years ago.

You know, we've all had it where we're focused at our computer, head down in that moment of really trying to get whatever it is that we're trying to do from a work perspective. And his daughter came in to talk to him. He nodded and smiled as she was speaking, but his attention wasn't on what she was saying.

It was actually still on the computer. And then it hit him. He wasn't listening at all. Dr. Perry later reflected, how many moments have I missed because I was so enthralled in what I was doing that I became distracted from what was truly important. That moment was a wake up call for him. And I'll be really honest when he shared that it was a wake up call for me.

How many glass balls are we actually letting slip through our fingers? Because maybe we're focusing and spending way too much time on those plastic balls. So how do we embrace integration into our daily lives? Here are a couple of practical tips I want you to think about, over the course of today and the rest of the week.

Next one, be fully present. Let's take a lesson from Dr. Michael Perry. Whether you're at work or with family. Give them your full attention in that moment. And finally, I want you to schedule micro resets. Think about small intentional breaks that can make a big difference in how you show up each day.

Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode of Unleashing Brilliance. I hope this conversation today has sparked something in you, whether it's that realization that Balance maybe isn't the goal or the inspiration to start creating a life of integration that truly works for you. I'm all about life and business by design.

And that, my friends, is okay. This is your life. This is your rhythm. This is your journey. Some days you're going to absolutely nail it. And other days you're gonna feel like it's a whole heap of a mess. That's not failure, it is life. Give yourself the grace to learn, to adapt, to grow as you figure out what works for you.

Remember, this isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about showing up in the moments that matter. It's about letting go of what doesn't. And it's about giving yourself permission to thrive in the season. that you're in. And don't forget the power of small, consistent action. Maybe it's scheduling that long weekend you've been putting off, saying no to one more thing on your plate, or simply stepping outside for a breath of fresh air.

And let's keep this conversation going. If there's anyone in your world that you feel would, benefit from listening to this episode, please share the link. Please comment below. Please leave a review because I truly believe that the more we share, the more we all grow. If you found this episode helpful, make sure you share it with someone that needs to hear it.

Maybe it's a colleague who's struggling with burnout, a friend who feels like they're constantly juggling or a partner. Who's looking for better rhythm in life. And if you haven't already hit the subscribe, please hit the subscribe because I don't want you to miss any episodes of Unleashing Brilliance and the while you're at it, I'd love you to leave a review.

Be kind to yourself. You've got this. And until next week, please stay intentional, stay present, and as always stay brilliant.