Networking events are a waste of time

Hello.

Welcome to another episode.

How was your week?

Hope you had a fabulous week.

This week, I want to talk about

networking and in particular, why

networking events are a waste of time.

Yeah, I know the queen of

networking has said it.

I think networking events

are a waste of time.

And I get that right now.

You might be wondering how on earth am

I meant to build my multimillion dollar

network if I don't put myself out there?

How on earth?

Am I meant to do this if

I don't meet new people?

And if I don't attend

these type of events?

Janine, I get it.

And really don't get me wrong.

I still want you to

put yourself out there.

It just doesn't involve 30 second well

rehearsed elevator pitches, and it

does not involve plastic name tags.

The main issue I have with

networking events is that they

push quantity Over quality.

The idea is to walk away with as many

business cards as possible, right?

I get that.

But how much do you

really know about them?

What are their interests?

What are their hobbies?

What, what's going on for them right now?

Do you really know anything about

their business ethic and whether

that actually aligns with yours?

Whether you'd like to actually

work with them right now?

Do you know?

What help they actually need and

what's really, really going on for

them versus the Instagrammable facade

that's created to share the, Hey, look

at where I've been photo on socials.

Now, I even remember hearing the

most observed story while I was

at an event where I was actually

teaching networking at this event.

So.

And during this event, this woman

approached me and after talking, she

mentioned that to attend the session,

her boss had said to her that to get

the ROI on the session, she had to bring

back 10 business cards the next day.

It was like they were turning this

connection event into something

that was innately inhuman.

Something that.

Literally became another measurable KPI.

And my response to her was, you know

what, you know, those bowls over

there, as you come through the door,

the bowls where everyone's sticking

that business card in to win the free

prize draw at the end of the evening.

I said to her, go there, put

out the 10 business cards.

There you go.

the ROI has been done for your boss

and you may even win the door prize.

Tell you it's crazy.

It's crazy.

This concept of collecting the number

of business cards and contacts that

you can hopefully add to your LinkedIn

profile or your chase list without

even connecting properly with another

person is totally absurd to me.

Another example, I was at another

speaking event and the MC decided

to introduce me as the Queen

of Networking and he went on

to say, I know how you network.

You've got two hands.

You've got one hand for shaking

and the other hand for handing

out your business cards.

I'm like, what?

It's crazy.

Now we do have to go to these events.

I get it.

It's all part of business building.

It's, it's something that

some of us have to do.

but I want you to see them as

that, like the majority of these

large format networking events

are simply a meet and greet.

There's simply a transactional

lead generation exercise.

But if you're curious about

networking in a more powerful way,

this is why I encourage you to focus

instead on creating a tight knit

social circle that may not even

have more than four people in it.

this is how I've built my business.

I've built my business by tapping

into a tight, a high quality

network that through the ripple

effect of conversation, the

connections actually happen.

I very rarely go to large

scale format events.

So why is focusing on

a small network great?

One of the main advantages of

having a small network is that it

actually frees up more time for

you, more time and more energy to

invest in meaningful relationships.

When we have a massive network

of connections, the risk is that

we might feel obliged to attend

every single event, to go to every

single meeting or social gathering

to maintain those connections.

Sometimes that hashtag FOMO may

kick in the fear of missing out, but

all of this can very quickly become

time consuming and energy draining.

Something that you might've heard

me speak about before on this

podcast, where I talk about stretch

fatigue, that feeling of being

pulled in multiple directions.

The opposite though, of having a small

network of people that we can actually

focus on, where we can build deeper,

more authentic relationships with those

people that truly matter the most.

That's where the opportunity exists.

I say embrace the hashtag JOMA

or the joy of missing out.

On large scale format events, and

instead build a tight network of

small quality group of people.

The other opportunity of this is

that we can be really intentional.

Building a small network

enables us to be much more

intentional in our relationships.

When we have a vast network of

connections, it can be a challenge

to maintain meaningful connections

with every single person.

However, when we focus on

building a small but powerful

circle, we can invest more time.

We can invest more energy into

cultivating those relationships

and as a result, create a more

significant impact with the world.

And finally, having a small

network helps us to become more

authentic and true to ourselves.

When we've got a massive network of

connections, we might feel the need

to present ourselves in a certain

way to fit in or to be accepted.

However, when we build this

small network, a powerful inner

circle, we can be more authentic.

We can be true to ourselves.

But when you have a large network,

you've got to, work harder at this.

So here are my three quick tips.

For consciously connecting so that

you can build a network that is

based on quality and not quantity.

Number one, It starts with four people.

You've heard me speak about this

before and I'm reiterating it.

It's something I reiterate time

and time again, your quality

network starts with four people.

To create a network that is

really going to help you grow.

You need at least four

people, not family.

No significant other, but people that

fill one of these four roles, four

independent people, you need a teacher,

that person who is stretching your

thinking so you know more and that you

can build your competitive advantage.

You need the promoter, the person

who encourages you to do more and

pushes you towards your goals.

They believe in you.

They see more in you.

Then you see in yourself, you need

the pit crew, the person who is

going to be there through thick and

thin, who keeps you grounded and

keeps you present in the moment.

And you need the butt kicker, the

person that's going to hold you

accountable and keep you focused.

The person that's going to make sure

that you're doing the very thing,

the right things that you need to do

today to move forward into tomorrow.

And if you don't have these four

people in your network, that's

exactly where you need to start.

The second tip is with this

smaller type network, embrace

the "thank you for" concept.

If you want to reach out to someone after

being at an event or after reading a book

or consuming a piece of content about

them on social media, then send them

the words, thank you for, and insert the

very thing that you're thanking them for.

These words, thank you

for, are a game changer.

Think about.

Why you admire that person.

Think about what impact they had on you.

Think about what they shared that you

loved or that resonated and share that

with them in the form of a message.

Thank you for, and I can guarantee that

this genuine connection is going to make

way more impact than a normal slew of

messages that might land in their inbox.

And the final thing is look

for opportunities to Be the

little fish in the big pond.

So many times I see people hanging out

with the same people all of the time.

It's almost like they

outstay their welcome.

They get to this point where

they're not learning anything new.

There's a little bit of

group think that kicks in.

And essentially we're all keeping

each other at that same level.

That's not a space for growth, just

like jobs and homes and clothes.

Eventually we can outgrow our network.

And while that might leave many of us.

If you're feeling lost, it actually

does provide the opportunity for us

to reach out, to be brave, to put

yourself in a place where you're the

small fish again in a bigger sea.

And whether you take this as an

opportunity to invest in group

mentorship or simply start showing

up in places where you would

like to be more often, look for

those opportunities to be pushed.

The people that you meet in that room

are very likely to be the key players

in the next Stage of your growth.

So rest assured that keeping a

close knit circle isn't hindering

your business growth at all.

It isn't stopping your

opportunities at all.

It's time to take an audit of

your network, of your time and

energy that you're putting in.

See where the gaps are for connection

and start consciously connecting

with the people that you want In your

life and to be part of your life as

this next growth in your business.

I'd love to hear what you found

most useful in today's podcast.

Share below, share this

podcast with anyone that you

think would find it useful.

Love you to leave a review, send

me any questions and have a truly

awesome week until next week.